How to write a memorable obituary for a loved one

Priscilla Martel, a cookbook author and food writer who wrote the obituaries for her favorite uncle and her mother and father in the space of two years, compiled an engaging, well-rounded

profile of each. She created a vibrant portrait of a singer who once opened for Tony Bennett, a collector of dollhouse miniatures who had a bouquet of friends, and a music shop owner who

owned more than 100 cars in his lifetime and had a thriving second career as a classic car appraiser. "You are really memorializing these people for eternity. It's an opportunity

to craft something that is really about who they are, more than just a collection of milestones, military service, education, professional career and family,” Martel says. Most of us

don't have all the facts or stories about our loved ones. To glean compelling details, reach out to relatives and family friends, Martel says. A bonus is connecting with those close to

the deceased when many of us need an emotional boost. If writing the obituary or contacting others for information is too much to take on, reach out for help. A funeral director should be

able to offer guidance, and professional obituary writers can assist as well. IT'S OK TO ADD SOME LEVITY Death is no joke, of course, but it's fine to sprinkle some humor into an

obituary . A Connecticut woman took this to extremes last year when she memorialized her prankster father, Joe Heller, 82, in a hilarious and loving tribute that went viral on social media

and which the New York Times dubbed “The Best Obituary Ever." It describes Heller as a hoarder who named his first dog Fart and left his family with “a house full of crap, 300 pounds of

birdseed and dead houseplants that they have no idea what to do with.” Amid the coronavirus pandemic, when in-person funerals are limited to a handful of mourners, obituaries are including

more personal anecdotes than before, according to Stephen Segal, director of content for Legacy.com, an online obituary company that provides support and obituary-related services to

newspapers and funeral homes in the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. "In the absence of a physical funeral, the obituary is taking an even more

prominent role as the place where those stories get told, where those memories get shared, where a loved one's life story is honored and preserved,” Segal says.