Beware of student loan debt traps

"They are embarrassed by this debt," Bartini says. "They feel like they did something wrong." Financial planners say they are also starting to see retirements undermined

as older parents assume the debt of an adult child. Missie Beach, a financial planner with Modera Wealth Management in Atlanta, says she designed a couple's retirement plan a few years

ago so they could take two big vacations annually. That fell apart after their son amassed a $150,000 debt for business school and the six-figure-salary offers he expected never came. They

forfeited their travels to repay his loans, Beach says. "Now when clients mention that their children are thinking of graduate school, I always ask who's going to pay for it,"

the planner says. Beach advises clients not to cosign loans. If they want to help, they can assist with tuition if their budget permits, she says. "That way you're not on the hook

for things down the road," she says. Ann Twiselton, 77, forfeits 15 percent of her income from Social Security to pay off family cosigned student loans. Chris Crisman © 2014 Due to a

relative's education debt, Ann Twiselton, 77, won't be quitting work anytime soon. That's because several years ago the widow from Spring Hill, Tenn., cosigned student loans

for a granddaughter pursuing a master's degree. When her granddaughter later couldn't find a job in her field and failed to keep up with those payments on top of other loans the

granddaughter had taken out, guess who the lenders went after to make good on the $60,000-plus debt? Twiselton now is forking over $415 a month — or 15 percent of her income from Social

Security, a pension and a part-time job as an executive assistant — to repay the loans. "I will die before they are paid off," she says. A decade or so ago, parents often would pay

for the first four years of college at a moderately priced state school, and after that would catch up on saving for their own retirement, says Vincent Barbera, a financial planner with

Newbridge Wealth Management in Berwyn, Pa. Now, many teens choose colleges with little consideration of cost, and some parents foot the bill for even pricier graduate school, he says.

Tuition, fees and room and board at a four-year private school currently averages $45,370 a year; for public schools it's $20,090, the College Board says. As a result, parents are

saving less for retirement or working years longer. "They are largely compromising their own retirement lifestyle so their kids don't feel pain," Barbera says. He suggests

parents set college expectations when children are sophomores in high school, by telling kids how much the family can afford for higher education.