Military spouses support and serve each other

“My full-time work is caring for Gretchen, but I still look for ways to serve others,” says Bob. He thinks of himself as a part of Gretchen’s “rope team,” a military term that refers to the

way a team is connected to prevent a fatal fall and allow everyone to complete their ascent/descent/mission. The rope team relationship allows the open sharing of feelings about triumphs and

trials and can also help mitigate against issues like suicidal ideation. “Women tend to be much better at this than men,” notes Bob. “But when you share your stories, you can connect.” Like

so many caregivers, Bob has learned to carve out moments to refill his mental and emotional tank through journaling and reading.  When he reflects on the gifts of being a veteran caring for

another veteran, he sees the value in shared experience. “We get each other, and we’ve walked the journey together, which is so very important for the two of us.” As a caregiver to her

husband, Marcus, Briarly Wilson helps support his ongoing needs while managing a busy blended family of 12. Courtesy Marcus and Briarly Wilson JOINED FAMILY, SHARED TRAUMA Sparks flew during

a routine medical appointment at Camp Pendleton, California, when Chief Master Sergeant Briarly Gysler, now 50, from March Air Reserve Base, met Marcus Wilson Sr., now 47, first sergeant

Marine Corps, retired.   Stationed two hours away from one another, Briarly was a single mother of three and Marcus had six children, which made a long-distance relationship challenging. But

the couple began to build a relationship over hours on the phone and then agreed to meet at a Starbucks halfway between each of them. That was the first time she learned that Marcus had

been injured by an improvised explosive device (IED) blast while serving in Al Anbar Province, Iraq, in 2006. In addition to an above-knee amputation of his left leg, he suffered a TBI and

subsequent post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). “I didn’t know he was an amputee until we met the second time and he had shorts on,” recalls Briarly. “The first time we met he was wearing

his uniform, and I didn’t notice. It wasn’t anything he talked about because he never lets it define him.”   From that second meeting in Starbucks, the two were inseparable. “Every minute we

weren’t working, we were together,” she says. Marcus was able to stay in the Marine Corps and continue to serve after his injury until his retirement from School of Infantry-West at Camp

Pendleton, California, in 2015. They were married in 2015 and now have 10 children between them, ages 7-27.  Their youngest, Mason, was born on Veterans Day in 2015. “He was almost born on

the Marine Corps birthday, November 10,” jokes Briarly, “but as an airman, I made sure that didn’t happen!” The two families moved to the halfway mark to be able to live together, and the

children became good friends. “We have a full, rich life together,” says Briarly. One of the great connections to their love story was Briarly’s discovery that it was her unit that brought

Marcus back from Iraq after he was injured. “I found my squadron’s challenge coin in his possession, and I was shocked at the coincidence,” she says. “There were a few airmen still in the

squadron who remembered treating and transporting him, and it was a real sense of closure for them to meet him. There is so much trauma for the corpsmen and medics, because they don’t know

what happens to the injured after they take care of them.” One of the wonderful gifts of being married to a veteran and caring for each other is that they understand one another’s job.  

“Marcus understands the pressures without trying to fix it,” explains Briarly. “He offers me great advice, he is an amazing mentor and leader, I understand what he has been through so I can

give him more patience, empathy and compassion.”  Briarly feels fortunate not just to serve, but to be part of a military family with more than 50 years of combined service. “We are a medic

and a marine, we are a very patriotic family and we have passed that devotion to our children, some of whom are also now serving in the military,” she says. “I’m so proud of this country and

what we represent, and I look forward to our kids paving the way for the next generation.”