12 key things to consider before caregiving for a parent

Being a caregiver for a parent can be rewarding — and life-altering — and sometimes both on the same day. Before dutifully putting on the caregiver hat for Mom or Dad, there are critical

things that all adult children should consider. Some of the considerations are emotional. Some are physical. Some are financial. And some don’t neatly fit any definition. But giving careful

thought to them first can mean the difference between a successful caregiving experience for all parties and a caregiving implosion. AARP reached out to two nationally recognized geriatric

doctors and two family caregiving authors to provide what they think are the 12 critical things all adult children should contemplate before diving into caregiving for a loved one. 1.

DETERMINE IF YOU HAVE THE BANDWIDTH TO CARE. It’s one thing to think about offering caregiving to a parent, but it’s something entirely different to actually do it. That’s why every

potential caregiver must stop and ask themselves: Do I have the bandwidth to do this? poses Maureen Dale, assistant professor of medicine and director for education and clinical care for the

Geriatric Fellowship Program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. This includes many things, she says. Does your schedule allow for caregiving? Will the role be helping out

with chores or assisting with more challenging tasks like bathing and toileting? Does it mean you will have to prepare and serve all of their meals? It’s critical, she says, to know what is

needed both from a logistical and time standpoint. There are several key questions to first ask yourself, says Joy Loverde, author of two books on caregiving, _The Complete Eldercare

Planner_, and _Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old?_ Among the questions: Do you have the patience and tolerance to take this on? Is your life too complicated to juggle it all? Are you

able to do it physically and emotionally? Are you the right person for this job? Do you even get along with your parents? 2. REALIZE CAREGIVING BEGINS EARLIER THAN YOU THINK. “Caregiving

begins before a health event occurs,” says Loverde. She says that it’s critical to look for signs of brewing problems. Are your folks running out of money? Has a parent quit driving — or are

they getting into minor accidents? Do you notice unopened mail sitting around their place — or is the house not kept as clean as it used to be? Are they going out less often? Any one of

these can be a signal that a health issue is lurking, she says. Video: 5 Things to Know About Becoming a Caregiver 3. TRY TO PREPARE FOR CAREGIVING, BUT KNOW THAT AN ILLNESS OR EMERGENCY MAY

COME OUT OF THE BLUE. “Most people start out not knowing anything about caregiving,” says Linda Abbit, author of _The Conscious Caregiver: A Mindful Approach to Caring for Your Loved One

Without Losing Yourself._ “Nobody knows the future, but if you do some preparation, it makes everything else that much easier.” One of the best ways to understand what’s going on, says

Abbit, is to start attending doctor’s appointments with your parents — even if they aren’t thrilled about it. This gives you a unique chance to listen, learn and exchange any health concerns

with the doctor and your mom and dad. 4. LEARN WHAT MATTERS MOST TO THE PARENT YOU WILL HELP. Make sure to sit and have a conversation with your parent — or parents — about the things they

care most about, says Dale. “The time is never too early if you are getting involved in the care of a parent,” she says.