How to prepare emotionally and legally to be a widow

During his chemotherapy, Geigner’s husband promised to make her a folder, “all for you.” She later found it — empty. He’d handled the finances and only provided necessary passwords shortly

before his death. He forgot to arrange for his pension to go to Judy. Her health insurance ended the following month. She encourages women to have a different, better experience than she

did. “Know where insurance documents are, and whom to contact.” Undaunted, Judy hired a tax accountant, a lawn service and an organizer for her move to a condominium. She’s now proudly

independent: “I was alone, but when something had to be done, I did it.” Karen Haack’s husband of 35 years lived for over six years with brain cancer, surviving much longer than expected.

They even thought they’d beaten the odds. This, she now says, is regrettable. “We never talked about not beating it or what if he didn’t survive. We just marched ahead. Lost opportunities

that I’ll never get back.” ​​They consulted an estate attorney to set up trusts. Haack organized all the documents. She also attended a support group for two years, affirming that “it was

meant for me, the best thing I did.” Thirteen years later, she remains in their home and has solid friendships. Still, she says, “I lost my golf and travel partner.” Her advice for widows:

“Allow yourself to wallow from time to time. It’s OK.” Regarding logistics, she advises getting “lots of death certificates. You’ll need more than you think, and they’re hard to get later.”

(Experts recommend 6 to 10 certified copies.) ADVICE FROM A CERTIFIED PUBLIC ACCOUNTANT (CPA) Ginna Zoellner has been caring for her husband with Alzheimer’s for over a decade. Self-care

comes from willingly paying for conveniences. She’s also a CPA, so she ensured finances are set for David’s eventual death. She offers practical advice, noting that while the tasks seem

extensive, everything must be done, either before or after the death. “First, make a chart of all your assets, minus outstanding debts,” she says. “Next, make a list of all monthly income

sources. Use two columns: one for present amounts and a second for those remaining after the death. (After the death, you will receive the greater Social Security Income.) Costs decrease

without your spouse, but not by half; you will still have many of the same expenses. Try to anticipate your future expenses and make a budget.” THE FINAL WORD Karen Elizabeth Hannahs is a

social worker who counsels families with end-of-life concerns. She’s experienced hesitancy around taking care of financial needs while a loved one could still provide information. “I found

an understandable reluctance to discuss ‘future’ plans. People were often relieved to learn they could continue to hope and pray for a miracle while discussing financial matters that will

impact them greatly in the future.” _Suzanne Ball, RN, is a contributing writer who worked in the field of organ and tissue donation and transplantation for 25 years. She is a freelance

writer who specializes in medical and health topics. _