Accepting that people aren’t perfect can change your love life (and more)

_The Gifts Of Imperfection_ is a book by Brené Brown. Truth be told, I’ve never read it. My Mom tells me it’s a book about learning to accept the imperfection in yourself. It was such a

transformative read for her that I noticed the change in her demeanor ever since she finished it. I’d like to suggest an additional rule to live by. It’s called _The Gifts Of __OTHER’S__

Imperfection._ I think we, as a society, would be better off if we stopped expecting everybody else to be perfect all the time as well. Let me explain. MY RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHIER BECAUSE

OF THIS I saw a picture on Facebook recently with this quote: > “How did we manage to stay together for 65 years? We were born in > a time when if something was broken we would fix it,

 not throw it > away...” I’ll get back to that quote in a second. On my way home from Mexico a few weeks back I watched _Good Will Hunting_. In the movie, Will talks with Robin Williams’

character about love. Here’s an important part of their conversation.. > “You’re not perfect sport, and let me save you the suspense, > this girl you’ve met she’s not perfect either. 

But the question > is whether or not you’re perfect for each other.” Before Robin told him this, Will talked about how he didn’t want to see this girl he really liked again. Why? As Will

says.. > “THIS GIRL is like fuckin’ PERFECT RIGHT NOW, I don’t wanna > ruin that.” I think many of us go through life purposefully ignoring the bad stuff. Whether it’s imperfection in

others, or failure, or death, or imperfection in ourselves. We shun it. We run away from it. I understand why we do, but it’s not a good reaction. It’s better to stare failure in the face,

or imperfection, and accept it. It’s brave. I’ve tried to take this knowledge into my latest relationship. In the past I was a little too influenced by bad moments, fights, and failures. I

thought these things were a clear indication that my relationship was doomed, and that I found the wrong person. Now I realize that the only wrong person all along was me. It was my fault. I

should’ve accepted ALL of their personalities, not just the parts I liked. This willingness to now accept imperfection and allow myself to love the entire person has led to a healthier

outlook. I’ve never felt better. Ironically it was an imperfection in me that led me to not accept the imperfection in others. LET’S STOP CANCELLING PEOPLE, TOO, PLEASE I got a weird comment

on an article I wrote the other day. I took a few shots at another writer on Medium. It was kind of playful, and I think I had a point with what I said. Someone took offense, and commented

telling me that I basically had zero empathy. Wow. Pretty incredible to accuse someone of having zero empathy after reading one article they wrote. I actually donated to a charity that the

writer I mentioned had setup. I helped them spread the word about it, too. > But we’re just going to forget about all that, aren’t we? I digress (a little).The point is, maybe we should

start looking at mistakes people make as mistakes rather than a whole-ass judgement of who they are as a person. Ever thought of that? Ever thought that people are multi-faceted, and have

good moments along with the bad? I watched a documentary about Muhammad Ali yesterday and for a time they talked about his womanizing. He was also exceedingly cruel to Joe Frasier in the

buildup to their first fight. Would it be fair to throw out all the good he did for other people just because he was a womanizer? Why can’t we allow mistakes and imperfections to just be

mistakes and imperfections? Why can’t we hold broader, more nuanced views of who people are? Cancelling someone because of something they said 10 years ago is ridiculous. This inevitably

causes many people to start walking on eggshells everywhere they go, hoping they never rock the boat too much, or else their entire character may get assassinated. Let’s learn to accept the

imperfections of others. Let’s hold them accountable as well, but let’s try to accept them afterwards. INTERNALIZING THIS BELIEF COULD RADICALLY CHANGE YOUR LIFE Accepting the imperfections

in others — as well as yourself — will allow you to connect with people on a much deeper level. Instead of displaying an air of arrogance and condescension, you’ll project an aura of

acceptance and love. That’s the better space to be in, and it’ll bring you closer to people in the long run. > Get my free 5-day Medium writing course right here. It’ll teach > you how

 to write five posts per week and become a top writer on > Medium. :)