Brave mum who plans to end her life after daughter’s exams says decision is her ‘last bit of parenting’ - Manchester Evening News

Brave mum who plans to end her life after daughter’s exams says decision is her ‘last bit of parenting’ A mum with motor neurone disease is planning to starve herself to protect her

'amazing' children from seeing her 'brutal' death, after being diagnosed with the terminal illness two years ago.NewsEmily Parker and Lucy Thornton15:40, 01 Jun 2025Mum Emma Bray says she

does not want her "amazing " daughter to see her "brutal" death(Image: Jon Rowley) A brave mum has made the decision to end her own life after her daughter’s exams have finished, in a

decision that she hopes will spare her children from watching her go through a "brutal" death.

Emma Bray, 42, who has motor neurone disease, plans to move into a hospice this summer and voluntarily stop eating and drinking, the Mirror reports.

‌ The former charity worker’s decision to control her own death comes as a way of shielding her “amazing” children, aged 15 and 14, from the “brutal” death she faces.

‌ Emma was given the diagnosis two years ago and she says she was left “howling like an animal” as she realised the impact it would have on her son and daughter.

Speaking to the Mirror, Emma said: “I've had four different health professionals tell me I've got the worst disease possible.”

MND is a terminal neurological disorder that affects the brain and spinal cord leading to muscle weakness and wasting.

Article continues below Emma has celebrated her decision to end her life on her own terms with a “bucket list holiday” in the Maldives and an ‘End of Life Party’. However, she says it is now

time for her to do her “last bit of parenting” as she wants to spare her children seeing her experience a traumatic death.

Instead, she has decided that she wants a “calm and peaceful death”, and has already planned her funeral and written her eulogy.

Emma has made the decision to end her life after her daughter finishes her exams(Image: Jon Rowley)‌ Emma spoke to the Mirror through her eye gazing machine. She said: “I now feel I am at

the stage where my quality of life is very affected, I can no longer use any of my limbs. My talking is severely affected and I struggle to eat and it's getting harder to breathe. I am only

really comfortable in bed and social visits are exhausting.

"I have carers multiple times a day, can't be left alone overnight and can no longer do any basic tasks. I can't scratch an itch, push up my glasses, move a bed sheet if I am too hot or

cold. I feel like I am losing the essence of me, I am still so loved but I can't be myself and I see that grief on everyone's faces.

"This whole journey has been brutal but I have still been able to be a parent and I now realise I can't be a bit of the parent I need and want to be. Watching your children grieve you and

not be able to hug them is the most painful feeling ever. This disease takes from everyone and it will take the children's mother from them bit by bit.

‌ "My last bit of parenting I can do is to limit the suffering and trauma they have to witness. I made a promise to myself that I wanted to wait to see my daughter finish high school and my

son grow up a little so I can picture the man he will become.

"So this summer I will voluntarily stop eating and drinking when I feel ready and I will be supported by a hospice to be comfortable during this time."

As part of her decision to end her own life, Emma has chosen to voluntarily stop eating and drinking.

‌ The practice - known as VSED - is the decision of an adult ‘with mental capacity to decide to do so in the absence of control or coercion’, to hasten their death by completely stopping

their intake of all food and fluids.

According to the organisation Compassion in Dying, dying from VSED can typically take between 10 and 14 days.

Emma says that while VSED is not an easy death, it is the only way she can control the end of her life due to the current law in England(Image: Jon Rowley)‌ Emma told the Mirror: “VSED is

not an easy death but with the current law in England this is the only way I can have control over my death.

“I want to protect my children from seeing me choke and struggle to breathe. I don't want to die but I am going to and have come to terms with my impending death and I know I want to die

surrounded by loved ones, music and laughter not in an emergency way after further decline.”

Emma, from Barnstaple in North Devon, is backing the Assisted Dying Bill which has faced substantial controversy. She says that she backs the Bill as she wants other families to be able to

avoid the choice she has had to make of deciding between two “painful and potentially horrific” ways to die.

‌ She said: “This bill will have offered me protection for those I love who have already spent two years living with anticipatory grief and watching me suffer.

“Imagine seeing your children crying and upset and not be able to hug them or curl up in bed and wipe their tears away. This is hands down the thing I hate the most about motor neurone

disease. It's taken my children's mum from them little by little.

“They struggle to remember the mum I once was and we all silently agree, as sad as it will be, life will be easier for them when I'm dead.”

‌ Emma explained that she first began experiencing cramps in her hand five years ago, which then prompted a five year battle of looking for an explanation.

Finally in July 2023, when she was walking with aids, crawling up stairs and unable to drive, she received the "devastating diagnosis" that she had MND.

On receiving a diagnosis, Emma said: "I had been told my symptoms were all to do with stress for years and that I would get better. I went to a private neuro rehab in Leeds who instantly

told me that it was something more serious.

‌ "I then did some research and became fixated on MND as it matched all my symptoms. Going into the consultant appointment MND was the worst case scenario and to hear him say that's what it

was was crushing. I remember howling like an animal when I realised the impact it would have on the children.

"My best friend was in the appointment with me and as we left I said that I wish it was cancer because there would have been potential surgery or treatments, with MND there is nothing."

Emma plans to end her life when her life when her children have the best chance to grieve "without having to concentrate on education"(Image: Jon Rowley)‌ Explaining her wishes for her

death, Emma said: "My end of life wish is to be at the hospice surrounded by my friends and family. I want to have music playing, to hear people laugh and watch them playing card games over

me.

"My children are amazing and have spent so much of their childhood witnessing me decline.

"They watched me crawl around the floor for a year before diagnosis, they help me with everything as I have no working limbs, they live in an environment where there is a constant flow of

carers coming into our home.

‌ "They are obviously struggling. They struggle watching me fade, they are already grieving for the mum I once was. How they are still attending school and laughing astounds me and is a

credit to what amazing people they are."

She added: "They have a village of people around them but I know they desperately miss me. They are living in limbo land, they know they will have to move house to live with their dad but

they don't know when and that uncertainty is hard for them.

"I can see their pain and grief on a daily basis and I would do anything to take that away from them. They are desperate for a hug from me and that hasn't happened in years."

‌ Emma says her health is now declining every day. She added: "Its becoming harder to take full breaths, my appetite is small and I struggle to not choke. I hide these symptoms as much as

possible so people are sheltered from my reality.

"I plan to stop eating and drinking this summer, my reasoning behind this is to offer the children the best chance to grieve and process without having to concentrate on education. There is

never a good time to lose your mum but all my maternal instincts want to make that horrible reality as easy for them as I can."

Since being diagnosed with MND, Emma has worked worked hard to have the best quality of life she could, and to make the greatest impact on the world around her with her managing to raise

£30,000 with friends and family for charity.

Article continues below Emma is now also calling for greater backing of the Assisted Dying Bill. She said: "I urge MPs to realise that this bill will not end my life, motor neurone disease

is doing that but they can help me and others with less than six months to live to die with peace."

Emma also wanted to praise the MNDA who have part funded a nurse who she says has become "her rock".