'my lover transformed our bedroom into sex cave - the ceiling mirror is freaky'

JUST JANE: TODAY OUR AGONY AUNT JANE O'GORMAN HELPS OUR DAILY STAR READERS WITH A NUMBER OF WOES - INCLUDING A BOOZY AUNT THREATENING A BIRTHDAY BASH AND A BABY OIL BEDROOM DILEMMA

06:00, 29 May 2025 If you have a problem that needs solving and you don't know where to turn, look no further. Every day, the Daily Star's very own agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is

on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice. From BEDROOM CONFESSIONS to SELF-CONFIDENCE ISSUES , DRUG USE and everything else, Jane has helped

thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn't slowing down. If you want help, you can write to JUST JANE, DAILY STAR, ONE CANADA SQUARE, LONDON, E145AP or email

[email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published. HE'S DESTROYED HER BEAUTIFUL HOME My house looks like a

brothel. I went abroad to see my sister. I returned to discover my partner has redecorated our beautiful Victorian terrace as a “surprise”. Out are the stylish greens and creams I lovingly

chose and applied back in 2020. In are bright red walls that scream “abattoir”. In our bedroom he’s hand painted a huge mural that depicts two naked lovers entwined on an open shell. There

are nymphs, bare bottoms and large bosoms all over it. He says it’s erotic. I say it’s hideous. It’s nightmarish and not helped by the numerous wall and ceiling mirrors he’s erected. Down in

the basement he’s installed adult toys and neon lights and a sex swing to make a “fun room”. He thinks we should have swinging parties with mates. If he honestly thinks I’m going to get

naked down in that damp, grotty hole then he’s got another think coming. Our relationship is in freefall. What was he thinking? Does he even know me at all? We’re not having sex and I’m

spending increasing amounts of time at my mate’s place. He will not admit that he’s wasted money and ruined our home. If anything, he’s upset with me for being small minded and ­ungrateful.

I’ve told him that he needs to change everything to how it was before but he’s digging his heels in. In the eight years we’ve been together I’ve always been able to get him to see things

from my point of view but not this time. I honestly don’t know if our relationship can survive this wanton act of vandalism. Help. _JANE SAYS: I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT IN HIS OWN CACK-HANDED

WAY YOUR GUY WAS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU._ _THERE’S NO DENYING THAT, DESPITE BEING TOGETHER FOR EIGHT YEARS, YOU HAVE WILDLY DIFFERING TASTES. MAYBE YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT HE

DIDN’T ACT WITH ANY MALICE AND THAT IT IS HIS HOME TOO._ _NOW HE’S WOUNDED AND BACKED INTO A CORNER AND ISN’T ROLLING OVER BECAUSE YOU’VE INSULTED HIS EFFORTS._ _STOP RUNNING AWAY TO YOUR

MATE’S PLACE AND FACE THE MUSIC AT HOME. APOLOGISE FOR SHOUTING AT HIM AND LOSING YOUR TEMPER._ _NO PROBLEM IS INSURMOUNTABLE IF YOU BOTH PUT YOUR HEADS TOGETHER AND AGREE TO COMPROMISE._

_IF YOU LOVE HIM, THEN IS THIS MATTER WORTH FALLING OUT OVER AS I IMAGINE THAT HE’S AS MISERABLE AS YOU ARE? IT WOULD BE A TERRIBLE SHAME IF SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A FEW TINS OF PAINT AND

SOME TACKY ADULT TOYS WERE TO END A ONCE HAPPY UNION._ _TELL HIM THAT YOU’RE WILLING TO WORK SOMETHING OUT. WHERE CAN REASONABLE CHANGES BE MADE?_ _HOWEVER, IF THE SEX DUNGEON AND THE

SWINGING PARTIES REALLY AREN’T YOUR THING, THEN THAT IS WHERE A LINE NEEDS TO BE DRAWN._ _CAN ANYTHING BE SOLD OR SENT BACK?_ _KEEP TALKING._ SECRET £10,000 STASH My girl has a hoard of cash

she keeps secret from me. Should I confront her about it? We’re in the process of buying our first starter flat. We’re looking at mortgage options with a trusted financial adviser. The

other day he asked us to go through our current accounts, credit cards and savings. I kept expecting her to pipe up about the £10,000 she has in a building society account (I’ve seen the

statements in her bedside table) but she didn’t say a word. How can I start a new life with someone who isn’t completely honest? JANE SAYS: HOLDING BACK SOME MONEY FOR EMERGENCIES IS A VERY

GOOD IDEA. NONE OF US KNOW WHAT’S AROUND THE CORNER. YOUR GIRL COULD HAVE BEEN LEFT THAT MONEY BY A RELATIVE OR MAY BE KEEPING IT FOR A RAINY DAY. THE FACT YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING AT HER PRIVATE

PAPERS DOESN’T REFLECT WELL ON YOU. ACCEPT SHE IS PREPARED TO GO FOR A MORTGAGE BASED ON HER SALARY AND THE SAVINGS SHE IS WILLING TO DECLARE. THIS ISN’T ABOUT HER BEING SECRETIVE, SHE IS

ENTITLED TO PRIVACY AND RESPECT. BOOZY AUNT WILL RUIN MY DAD'S BIRTHDAY BASH My dad will soon celebrate his 60th birthday. My brother and I are planning a big party with a marquee, band

and booze. It’s going to be epic. I’d like to invite all the family but there’s one aunt who always drinks too much and spoils the fun. On New Year’s Eve she turned up at my cousin’s house

and caused havoc. She’d picked up a stranger in the pub and they shouted, danced, drank and created havoc. My brother gently asked them to leave, and she kicked off, smashing glasses and

throwing food. Dare I leave her out without starting a massive row? JANE SAYS: YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR AUNT AT YOUR DAD’S PARTY IF YOU CAN’T BE SURE HOW SHE’LL BEHAVE. YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO

TRUST HER. IF YOU CAN, SIT DOWN WITH HER AND EXPLAIN YOU WON’T HAVE A REPEAT PERFORMANCE OF NEW YEAR’S EVE. POINT OUT YOU’RE NOT PICKING ON HER BUT UNTIL SHE GETS HELP YOU’RE NOT PREPARED TO

RISK YOUR DAD’S ENJOYMENT OR THE SAFETY OF OTHERS. SHE MAY NEED HELP FROM HER GP OR ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (0800 9177 650). SLIPPERY LITTLE SUCKER My boyfriend has got a thing about baby oil.

He loves oily, slippery sex. He comes to my place armed with bottles of the stuff. I’m an open minded but I’m sick of washing sticky sheets. The problem is that he still lives with his

parents. _JANE SAYS: NEVER USE BABY OIL WITH CONDOMS BECAUSE OIL WEAKENS LATEX. TELL HIM THAT YOU DON’T MIND A LITTLE SLIPPERY SEX AS AN OCCASIONAL TREAT, BUT HE NEEDS TO REIN THINGS IN._

Article continues below _SO, HE LIKES THE FEEL OF LUBRICANT ON THE SKIN? BUT HE CAN’T WALK AWAY LEAVING YOU WITH ALL THE CLEARING UP. WHY CAN’T YOU HAVE SEX AT HIS PARENTS’ HOUSE? HE’S GOT

TO START BEING FAIR._