How Older Workers Should Handle Office Bullies

FOUR STEPS TO DEAL WITH A WORKPLACE BULLY The following actions can help you confront bullying in the office, including who you should talk to and how coworkers can help fight bullying. 1.

DOCUMENT ALL OF THE TROUBLING BEHAVIOR. If you suspect you’re the target of a bully, keep a written log of the incidents, where and when they happened (including via videoconference), and

any witnesses, says career expert Vicki Salemi with Monster. When possible, keep copies of emails and text messages if they’re relevant. Norman began keeping notes on her bully, “from the

smallest encounter to the largest incident, with times and dates,” she says. That documentation was necessary when she turned to company representatives for help. She now consults with

companies about creating inclusive workplaces. 2. CONFRONT THE BULLYING IN THE MOMENT. Because bullying behavior typically escalates if left unchecked, Pelletier suggests addressing it early

when it happens. Responding to rudeness from a peer with an objection such as “That was uncalled-for” or even a humorous “Wow, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning” can

put the bully on notice that you’re not an easy target. Of course, if the bullying comes from a supervisor or someone higher in the organization, such exchanges may be more challenging

because of office politics and hierarchy. In some cases, addressing the issue privately with the individual can help you understand whether you’re dealing with someone who has a legitimate

issue — and may be handling it poorly — versus an actual bully. 3. ENLIST SUPPORT FROM YOUR COWORKERS. Salemi encourages people who are experiencing bullying to turn to trusted coworkers and

allies within the company for support and to corroborate the events if they witnessed the behavior. She suggests seeking external support, because bullying can be an emotionally and

psychologically trying experience, and have a “ripple effect in terms of depression, anxiety and stress.” Seek out a mental health counselor to help you manage those feelings, she advises. A

mentor, wise friend or family member can also be a good source of support and advice. 4. ESCALATE YOUR CASE TO MANAGERS. If the behavior continues, you may need to involve your supervisor

or the HR department. This is the point at which your documentation of incidents and support from witnesses can be helpful. The HR department will follow its practices to address the

behaviors from your coworker that are making you uncomfortable.   Pelletier cautions that the role of HR sometimes is to mitigate the risk to the company rather than to advocate for

employees. If the HR department is unable to resolve the situation to your satisfaction, you may have to consider other options. Like many bullied employees, Norman decided that leaving the

company was in her best interest. Pelletier sued his employer and reached a settlement with the company. Now, he works with companies and individuals to help prevent bullying from happening

to others in their workplaces. “The more I speak about it, the more I don’t give [the bullying] any power anymore. So it’s good for everybody,” he says.