Room at the inn: how to share the holidays with family members of a different religion

“Both are celebrations of actual events celebrating victories of God’s people,” said Rabbi Yerachmiel Shapiro, spiritual leader of the Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah Hebrew Congregation in

Baltimore,. “It’s easy to water down the meanings with all the gift-giving involved. It’s a challenge to make it more than about the presents.” Gift-giving became part of the Christmas

tradition around the 4th century A.D., after the death of Bishop Nicholas of Bari, Italy, a.k.a. St. Nicholas or Santa Claus, the patron saint of children, sailors and voyagers. Images of

a modern-day Santa Claus squishing himself through a half-billion chimneys in one night add to the festive lore associated with the holiday, but it is unrelated to Jesus’ life or the

gospels. For Jews, gift-giving didn’t occur until the 20th century, when living freely alongside their Christian neighbors in America, Jewish parents wanted their children to experience the

joy of their own holiday the way Christian kids did. Today, my husband’s family delivers presents to be opened on Christmas morning. Santa Claus leaves us something as well. My family’s

Hanukkah tradition involves lighting candles, saying a prayer and giving one small gift to the grandchildren each night. On the eighth night, we give a more expensive gift. Along with the

gift-giving, we share other traditions that will carry into the future. Each year, the women from both sides of our family gather to fry latkes, laugh and toast another year. The kids play

the dreidel game and sing Hanukkah and Christmas songs. Yes, December involves long hours of cooking, days of shopping, secret gift wrapping and memorable family time. A too-talkative uncle

may let his jaw loose. An elderly aunt may treat a teenager like a baby. A grandparent may confuse a grandchild’s name. Regardless, we all celebrate the same way: with love, laughter, and a

prayer for peace. _SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE: HAVE YOU MELDED CUSTOMS TOGETHER TO SHARE A MULTI-RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY? TELL US HOW IN THE COMMENTS._