The secrets of sex over 40: 8 questions answered

2. DO MEN AND WOMEN DIFFER IN THEIR LEVELS OF SEXUAL DESIRE?  Overall, 55 percent of those surveyed said they considered their sexual desire about average, 15 percent said higher than

average and 29 percent said lower than average.  But men were more likely than women to rate their level of sexual desire as higher than average. Women were more likely to rate their level

of sexual desire as lower than average.  3. HOW FREQUENTLY DO OLDER ADULTS MASTURBATE? The survey found that 55 percent of people reported pleasuring themselves in the past six months. Among

those who did masturbate, 61 percent did so within the past week. About one in 4 pleasure themselves weekly, but that number decreases as age rises: Only 11 percent of people age 70 and

older reported masturbating in the previous week, compared with 40 percent of those ages 40-49. “Masturbation is natural and shouldn’t produce feelings of guilt or embarrassment,” says

Buehler, adding that it also can be helpful if your partner doesn’t want as much sexual activity as you do. One in 3 people reported using a vibrator for personal enjoyment, though women

were more likely to say they were using one compared with men, at 42 percent versus 18 percent. People who identified as nonheterosexual were also more likely to report using a vibrator for

self-stimulation (66 percent compared with 28 percent of those identifying as heterosexual). 4. HOW COMMON IS INFIDELITY AFTER MIDLIFE? Fourteen percent of people reported being unfaithful,

according to the survey. Seventeen percent of men said they’d had a sexual relationship with someone other than their partner, compared with 11 percent of women. The reasons? For both men

and women, the novelty of sex with someone other than their partner was tops. Men were more likely than women to say they were interested in sexual activities that their partner wasn’t

interested in. For women, the answers trended toward feeling unappreciated by their partner and having a higher sex drive than their partner.  A quarter of those surveyed also reported

reasons for sex with someone besides their primary partners as consensual monogamy or polyamory.  While many respondents reported that infidelity or suspected infidelity had a negative

impact on their relationships, few people chose to end them because of it – only 4 percent did.   After an affair, most relationships are strained but survive, Buehler says.  “Repairing

takes a lot of difficult conversations,” Buehler says, “as the person who had the affair spends time reflecting and the hurt partner takes time to understand the reasoning and heal.” 5. IS

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION INCREASING? The number of men who say they have difficulty with sexual function is growing. Just 4 in 10 men said they are always able to get and keep an erection for

intercourse, down from half of men in 2009, according to AARP researchers.