5 reasons to break up when dating

One of the good things about dating again several decades after the prom is that we are clear — or clearer, at any rate — about what we can and cannot tolerate. His refusal to set foot

inside a museum? No longer an issue! (The same goes for his mother's ridiculous fashion sense.) Ah, but his character quirks: Those just grow larger as the years roll on. The five

defects noted below can easily become deal-breakers. How many have you encountered in your own dating life? (Me, I'm 5 for 5!) 1. HE SUFFERS FROM SELECTIVE HEARING During my first phone

conversation with Rick, he mentioned he was taking a poetry course at the college where I teach nonfiction. "I'll bring you some poems to read and critique when we meet," he

said. "Uh, better hold off on that," I responded. "I teach four courses, so I stopped reading my friends' and relatives' writing ages ago. I barely have time to read

my students' work these days." When I arrived at the restaurant, Rick sat at a table piled high with poetry — 200 pages of the stuff. Did I throw them in his face? Did I

"accidentally" drench them in water or ketchup? No, I did not. I merely (and calmly, I like to think) reminded him what I'd said on the phone. "Just read the one on

top," he pleaded. I read the one on top. It was about his dog. His dead dog. I praised my date's dead-dog poem. Then I chugged my drink, told Rod McKuen I wasn't feeling well

and hurried home. Imagine what a turn-on it was, months later, to encounter this as the first line in my (eventual) husband's profile: "I am a good listener." 2. HE IS SPOKEN

FOR I met a man on vacation. We clicked. He lived an hour away. He started visiting me, usually for half a weekend. Whenever I suggested returning the favor, he put me off. Finally I asked

why. "There's something in my house you might not like," he said. "Termites?" I hazarded. He laughed but said nothing.