Deborah roberts on husband al roker’s ‘very, very critical’ health crisis: ‘you’ve got to advocate’ 

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHER SPOUSES AND CAREGIVERS AFTER GOING THROUGH YOUR OWN FAMILY’S HEALTH CRISIS? First of all, I would say what people said to me: Not only do you need to

focus on your loved one, you’ve got to advocate. I never understood when I had heard people say how advocacy is key in a health crisis. I never realized. I thought I knew what it was all

about — being there and taking notes and helping. No. When somebody is going through a crisis, you have got to pay attention, ask the doctors questions. You kind of even have to problem

solve sometimes, because oftentimes you’re talking about medicine, the history of the person. You have to really jump in and assert yourself and be annoying.  I did all that, and I helped

brainstorm things with Al on how to treat Al: 'And by the way, did you know he had this and that prior to this?' I helped answer questions and also in some ways guide the care he

was getting. I certainly wanted to make sure he was being looked at as a human being and not just as a case.  I was fortunate that ABC allowed me to be able to take generous amounts of time

away just to look after him. But even if you can’t, you’re just in and out, make yourself a presence with doctors and the nurses. Nurses are so vital; they really care for the day-to-day

with the patients.  So, I would say: Really get in there and roll up your sleeves and be part of the care.  Also, take care of yourself. I remember my brother, and a couple other people

when they realized how intense this was, they kept saying to me, “What are you doing for you?” I felt so selfish to even think about me: _Are you kidding me? This is all about him. _We’re

just trying to make sure he makes it, because he truly was in a very, very critical state.  However, they were right, and I did find moments where in the morning before I would come see

him, I would go for a run around the loop in the park, and then in my workout clothes I would come straight to the hospital. Or sometimes I would just jog down to the hospital and see him.

So I gave myself the benefit of a little bit of care and being outside and thinking, clearing my head and then going to check on him. I think that’s the reason I was able to sustain and take

care of myself. It was a real hamster wheel, but I tried to take care of myself along the way. And draw from your support network. You’ve got to have friends, family, your church or any

kind of spiritual group you have in your life. You’ve got to draw from those people because when you’re tired, you just feel sort of helpless. Those folks can lift you up. _Deborah Roberts’

new book, _Lessons Learned and Cherished: The Teacher Who Changed My Life_, showcases lessons learned from educators and is in stores now._