11 tips for caregivers during the holidays

8. MIND YOUR MINDSET Negative thinking activates your body’s stress response, so steer your mind to the positives when you start down that slippery slope. Try to stay mindful, concentrating

on the present moment. Think about what you _can_ accomplish instead of what isn’t getting done; celebrate what your loved ones _can_ do rather than dwelling on what they can no longer

participate in; revel in the holiday joys you experience instead of focusing on those you bypass; appreciate the help you are receiving rather than resenting people who aren’t supportive.

9. KEEP SELF-CARE AT THE TOP OF THE LIST As caregivers, we give and give and give, and during the holidays we give even more. And the holidays can bring heightened emotions. All that giving

can leave you running on empty, with high stress levels or even full-on burnout. Beware of extreme emotional ups and downs, fatigue, foggy thinking and an inability to sit still or the

opposite — feeling frozen and unable to get anything done, or the desire to run away. Seek counseling or talk to your doctor if you are feeling depressed or anxious. When we’re busy it’s

easy to let self-care slip just as we need it most. Like our cars, we can’t run on an empty, so think about what fills you up and do more of that. Get plenty of good-quality sleep, and keep

moving: Walk with loved ones in a decorated shopping mall, or dance to holiday music. Enjoy holiday goodies in moderation; too many sugary treats can cause an energy crash later. Monitor

yourself for unhealthy coping skills, like overeating or drinking too much. Get outside for some mood-elevating vitamin D from sunlight, or consider therapeutic lighting if you suffer from

seasonal affective disorder. Relax with some holiday-scented aromatherapy to soothe and boost your mood. 10. CONNECT WITH OTHER CAREGIVERS While non-caregivers may not understand your

feelings, other caregivers are experiencing many of the same emotions you are. Connect with them to share your feelings and get tips for holiday survival. If it’s difficult to

get to an in-person caregiver support group due to health issues, holiday activities or weather, try online message boards or social media groups like AARP’s Family Caregiver Discussion

Group on Facebook, which I moderate. I’d love to see you there! 11. CREATE YOUR WISH LIST Let friends and family know what gifts would — and wouldn’t — be most helpful

and meaningful to you this year. They can gift you help with your holiday preparations like decorating, wrapping presents or preparing holiday meals. Any time of year, help cleaning the

house, gardening, organizing, sorting mail or spending time with your loved ones are wonderful gifts. Friends and family can also pay for help if they can’t offer it themselves. If there are

practical items you want that would save you time and money, ask for them. If self-care prompts are what you really need, ask for a gift card for a massage, manicure, round of golf or

whatever nurtures you, body and soul. It might be that this year, you just want a listening ear; ask for a supportive phone call once a week. Remember, you’ll be happier if you can go with

the flow and expect that there will be some delays, a crisis or two and maybe some disappointments. But alongside those things, there can be real joy. Our family spent Christmas in the

hospital with Dad one year when he was sick. We made the most of it with decorations and music and festive headgear (hats, headbands, antlers). The hospital prepared a darn good holiday meal

for us too. It was a stressful time, but we also laughed and loved each other and made new memories. The bottom line is that this time is precious. Even if this holiday season doesn’t

include all of your family traditions, savor the moments and make new, meaningful memories you can cherish forever. _Editor’s note: This article, originally published in 2018, has been

updated with more recent information._