The 10 most common complaints from family caregivers

4. _COMPLAINT:__ _HANDLING COMPLEX MEDICAL TASKS. Caregivers are increasingly being asked to shoulder complex tasks that were once only performed by trained professionals, says Applebaum.

This includes everything from giving medical injections to changing urine bags on a catheter. Some caregivers are even being asked to manage tube feedings. _RESOLUTION:_ GET HELP FROM A PRO.

Applebaum suggests asking a nurse to demonstrate the medical tasks until you feel reasonably comfortable doing them.  Even then, if there is  something the patient can’t do for themselves —

and you are utterly uncomfortable doing it — find someone else to help, such as a home health aide, she says, although aides can be pricey.  5. _COMPLAINT:_ STRESSFUL HEALTHCARE PROXY

DUTIES. Among the most important duties for caregivers is taking on the role of healthcare proxy. You might even be asked, at some point, to advocate for your parent by making critical

healthcare decisions if the parent can’t speak for themselves. The pressure is magnified even more when the extended caregiving team — including siblings — is not on the same page with what

the parent wants. _RESOLUTION:_ REACH OUT TO OTHERS. If the patient is unable to communicate, it’s important that the caregiver speak with other members of the family or care network and

ask, “What would our loved one want in this situation?” Make the best decision based on what you and your family members know about your loved one’s values, says Applebaum.  6. _COMPLAINT:_ 

DEALING WITH NON-COMPLIANCE TO MEDICAL ADVICE. It’s one thing for a doctor to give advice. It can be something else, entirely, for a stubborn loved one to actually follow it. This can be

something as simple as a refusal to drink enough water — or eat healthfully. This can cause extreme angst for caregivers who can’t understand why someone they love is choosing to ignore

sound medical advice. _RESOLUTION:_ EXPLORE WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON. First, check if there is an underlying issue that might be causing medical non-compliance, suggests Liz O’Donnell, founder

of Working Daughter, a company that helps working women balance eldercare and their jobs. Perhaps the patient detests plain water but will drink it if it’s flavored. Or maybe they dislike

whatever you’re feeding them and the menu can be changed. If the patient is declining to take medications that the doctor ordered, perhaps it’s simply too hard for them to swallow the pill

and it can be cut in half. These simple actions can sometimes help resolve issues, says O’Donnell, who is also the author of _Working Daughter: A Guide to Caring for Your Aging Parents While

Making a Living_.  7. _COMPLAINT_: DEALING WITH HANDS-OFF SIBLINGS. Many caregivers who devote their lives to caregiving for their parents hear comments like this from their siblings:

“Aren’t you an angel? I don’t know how you do it!”  Or, perhaps, even, “Isn’t caregiving a blessing?” _RESOLUTION:_ SPEAK UP. When a sibling paints you as an “angel” for your caregiving,

they are actually minimizing what you do, says O’Donnell. If your siblings are 100 percent disinterested in participating in actual caregiving, it’s not worth the effort to try to get them

interested. “We can’t assume that our siblings see things the way we do,” says O’Donnell. But it may be worth the effort to ask them to help financially with the caregiving costs.