How to keep a loved one with dementia engaged and active

As a case manager, Fontaine is concerned about the general cognitive decline she has witnessed in many dementia patients — and even in some caregivers — due to the long lack of socialization

and activity this past year. She cautions that it's more important than ever to encourage caregivers to accept help in whatever form and to look for ways to engage their loved ones in

activities that will allow them to step away, even for a short while. "Especially for those at the beginning of the memory-loss spectrum,” Fontaine explains, “as the disease progresses,

life gets harder. It's important to establish those relationships and routines now, while your loved one can accept other people in their daily life." CARVE OUT RESPITE TIME

Finding small moments of respite during quarantine means keeping a running list of activities that may allow you to do simple things like take a bath, phone a friend, complete an activity

uninterrupted or have a few minutes of precious silence to close your eyes. The first step, according to Fontaine, is to put some thought into what your loved one enjoyed before dementia.

“Make sure that when you give a task to a loved one, it's couched in language that makes the person feel as if they are contributing and the activity is useful,” she instructs. “We all

want to feel included and valued. Self-esteem is such an integral part of any human being, and Alzheimer's doesn't change that fact. Keep in mind that when it comes to keeping your

loved one busy and engaged, it's the process, not the end product.” I asked people on the AARP Caregiving Facebook page to share ideas on how they engage their loved ones. I received

some wonderful answers, and all of the suggestions incorporated the essential component of dignity. One caregiver said she keeps a basket of socks and asks, “Grandma I'm so tired, can

you help me sort these?” The task keeps her grandmother occupied and gives her purpose. “If I had said ‘Sort these,’ it would have an entirely different association,” she wrote. “But when

it's framed as needing help, it changes the way she sees herself.” Another caregiver said that when her mother was no longer able to tend to her beloved garden, she came up with other

ideas. She ordered seed and flower catalogs, found YouTube videos of gardens and bought fake flowers that her mother could continually arrange and rearrange in vases.