Sex is a taboo subject for my generation... So how do i talk about it? | members only

This week’s question really surprised me. A couple, together for decades, who’ve never talked to one another about sex? Turns out it’s not at all uncommon. As certified sex therapist Nan

Wise puts it: “People have a hard time talking about sex. Period.” Our sexuality experts weigh in on how to have “The Sex Talk” as an older adult. WHEN MY WIFE AND I STARTED OUR RELATIONSHIP

MANY DECADES AGO, SEX WAS SOMETHING OF A TABOO TOPIC. WE DIDN’T TALK ABOUT IT — WE JUST DID IT. WE ARE NOW IN OUR 70S, AND, FOR THE MOST PART, WE’VE BEEN HAVING SEX THE SAME WAY SINCE THEN.

I WOULD LOVE TO EXPLORE NEW WAYS TO BE SEXUAL TOGETHER, BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LAUNCH THE CONVERSATION. CAN YOU HELP? First off, kudos to you. Certified sex therapist Amanda Pasciucco

calls your query “really powerful — revolutionary, even,” because so many older people avoid the topic. The good news, she says: “Once you start to talk about it, once you’re that honest, it

doesn’t feel as taboo anymore.” Wise, the author of _Why Good Sex Matters_, points out that you’ve already got a lot going for you: years of partnership to build upon. “This is such an

incredible opportunity to enliven yourselves and your partnership” by expanding your mindset and exploring new forms of pleasure together, Wise adds. Our experts have several helpful

suggestions on how to start the conversation. Check them out and see what seems like a good fit for you. BEGIN WITH A SELF-INVENTORY — AND GET INFORMED. Certified sex therapist Chris

Fariello says to first ask yourself: “How do I feel about sex?” and “What’s my comfort level?” with sex. Why? Because when you understand what it is you need to feel turned on, you can share

that information with your partner, says Fariello. “Become more comfortable and knowledgeable yourself,” he says. How to do that? Fariello suggests watching TED Talks about sex in later

years and searching online for “sex after 70.” “There are so many resources online,” he says. Pasciucco says there are a lot of short video clips on TikTok and YouTube that you can access by

typing “sex education” in the search bar.