Help! My husband is a serial cheater | members only

EXPECT A FLOOD OF EMOTIONS. Especially after so many years together, you may feel anger, shame, sadness, frustration, jealousy or humiliation, according to Sonya Maya, a psychotherapist

specializing in sex therapy. Consider talking it through with someone. Whether you stay or go, Needle says working with a therapist who specializes in betrayal trauma, infidelity recovery or

relationship transitions can be transformative. Maya suggests sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member.  FIGURE OUT YOUR NEEDS. Stella Harris, a certified sexuality

educator and mediator, says to figure out what you want for yourself before proposing anything to your husband. “If your sex life has been lackluster and cheating is involved, do you even

want to try to stay?” says Harris. “Maybe it’s your turn to get out there and find some good sex.” “This isn’t a decision you need to make today, but your needs, dreams and desires matter,”

Needle adds. “This can be a turning point to reimagine your life, not just repair a broken one.” GET TESTED FOR SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS AND DISEASES. While you’re dealing with your

emotions, it’s also important to take care of your physical health, given your husband’s promiscuity. Licensed clinical social worker Allison Kent recommends that you contact your health

care provider for a comprehensive STI/STD screening, including HIV and human papillomavirus (commonly known as HPV), to ensure your own sexual health. IF YOU DECIDE TO STAY… Moving forward

with your husband will mean talking to each other about what your new relationship will look like, says Harris. It also means both parties will need to put some effort into it. “It’s really

difficult to establish trust again after this kind of breach,” she notes. “Both people have to want to work on it.” Harris suggests you also consider the following when deciding how to move

forward together: Are you requesting monogamy, and can your husband agree to that? If he can’t agree, are you willing to open up your relationship? If monogamy is a priority for you, Harris

says you might say something like, “If you continue to cheat on me, I will leave.” This will make absolutely clear the kind of relationship you are willing to take part in.