Help! We can't agree on the time, place or style of sex | members only

RESPECT YOUR PARTNER'S COMFORT ZONE. Many people, especially as they get older, tend to enjoy the familiar in intimate situations, says licensed psychologist Rachel Needle. Ask her,

"What exactly is it about our current routine that you like?" says Needle, adding that knowing the answer to that question could help you address any concerns or hesitations she

might have about trying something different.  "Let's understand why this is her thing — and then why there's reluctance,” says certified sex therapist Amanda Pasciucco.

"For a lot of people, mornings are about routine — shower, coffee, brushing teeth. For them, that's more pleasurable than morning sex."   EXPAND ON WHAT TURNS YOUR WIFE ON.

Brito says it's important to understand your wife's interest in missionary and why it’s her go-to position. With that in mind, you now have something to work with. 

"There's a lot you can do with missionary," Brito adds. "It’s plain vanilla, but there are a lot of toppings you can put on it."  How? If she’s open to it, Brito

suggests adjusting the position a bit to make it more psychologically and emotionally interesting. As examples, she says, keep the lights on and gaze into each other's eyes or enter her

from the side in a sideways missionary.  If you both are limber, Pasciucco says you can also flip your wife's knees over your shoulders, playing with the rhythm by grinding and

wiggling your hips. Or think about placing a pillow under her hips to change the angle of penetration.  "It's a variation on the familiar," Pasciucco notes. "You're

not changing everything all at once, but you're finding something new and different that both of you want to say yes to."  EXPLORE NEW PLACES GRADUALLY. Needle suggests expanding

your intimate spaces — but in small, manageable steps. For example, invite your wife to cuddle on the couch or make out in the kitchen. "Gradually this might lead to a comfort level

with being intimate in places other than the bedroom."