The 3 words that ended my relationship | members only

At nearly 60, I was taking stock of what I wanted for the next decade of my life. Call it old-fashioned, but I want a man who takes care of me in small, meaningful ways — including treating

me to dinner once in a while. Especially if he’s the one I’m planning to marry. We had met at a friend’s firepit party three years earlier during the pandemic. He made me laugh — always my

litmus test for chemistry. Chivalrously, he offered me his fleece when I felt chilly. That night, he put his number in my phone and texted me before I went to sleep to ensure I got home

safely. Not that there weren’t red flags from the start. He scheduled a pre-date date to be transparent about his complicated career trajectory and past relationships. At one point, he had

gotten into financial trouble. Since then, he had made major changes, determined to live within his means. I thought, _He’s complicated. No thanks._ He told me we didn’t have to keep our

dinner date if I wasn’t comfortable. I hesitated — I hadn’t been in a relationship since my divorce a decade earlier. The truth was, we were having fun together. Two nights later, he was

kissing me against my car, and the words falling in love were spoken. And just like that, we were a couple. MORE FROM ETHELS TELL ALL Over time, he became a steady presence in my children’s

lives. He bought my older son a sophisticated bike and taught him how to tune it up. He took my younger son to buy an Apple watch as a graduation present. He stayed with them while I

traveled back and forth to see my mom, who was ill. Cheerfully, he cared for the dog and easily blended with my friends. I, too, fit seamlessly into his world, spending holidays with his

sister and her family. On our first anniversary, he said, “I know it’s too soon to talk about marriage, but I want to mark our commitment.” We exchanged skinny silver bracelets from Etsy

that we never took off. He’d often say things like, “My friends keep asking, ‘When are you going to marry her?’ And I tell them, ‘I’m working on it!’ ” We both assumed this relationship was

heading toward a formal commitment. But at the two-year mark, he left his steady job to launch another startup. I worried — he had no savings despite his wealthy background. Meanwhile, I had

scrimped and saved my entire life, making responsible financial decisions. Of course, I cheered him on, but soon, I was riding the roller coaster of his startup’s highs and lows. We

canceled our annual trip to Mexico because he couldn’t afford the time or the flight. Four months later, I became an empty nester. I decided to sell my house to ease the financial burden of

college tuition. It would have been the logical time for us to move in together, but neither of us mentioned it. So I looked for new homes alone, even though I pictured him cooking in the

future kitchen, the dog wagging nearby.