25 thoughtful ways to show love and care

Couples engaged in romantic courtship experience less stress, more happiness and even longer lives, studies have shown. That’s because love creates spikes in so-called “happiness hormones”

like dopamine and oxytocin, which are responsible for feelings of passion, pleasure and attachment. Simply put: Love is a chemical reaction. But that doesn’t mean it’s automatic. Even with

biology on your side, love takes work. With that in mind, we’ve curated 25 ideas to help you show your partner that you care. WHEN YOU’RE DONE READING THEM, PLEASE SHARE YOUR OWN LOVESTRUCK

SUGGESTIONS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE. 1. BUY A BOUQUET The Society of American Florists says that 65 percent of Americans feel special when receiving flowers, and

that receiving flowers makes 80 percent of Americans feel happy. If your flower game has wilted, there are lots of ways to make it feel fresh again, according to Gregory Godek, author of

more than a dozen best-selling books about love and romance. “Don’t buy roses,” he advises in his book _1001 Ways to Be Romantic_. “It’s common, expected and expensive. Buy different

flowers. Flowers in her favorite color. Flowers that match his eyes. Flowers that send a message. Flamboyant flowers. Tiny, delicate flowers. Lots and lots of flowers.” You could buy flowers

that begin with the first letter of their name, or a single flower instead of an arrangement — for example, a sunflower with a note that says, “You are the sunshine of my life.” 2. PEN A

LOVE LETTER Love letters are timeless tokens of affection — and you don’t have to be a poet to write one. All you have to do is share in a sincere way how you feel about your partner. “So

many of our relational interactions take place online. A loving text can feel great to receive, but … a note is more tangible, evoking a more potent response,” says Alexandra Solomon, a

licensed clinical psychologist, relationship therapist and author of _Love Every Day_, a book in which she shares 365 daily practices to help people improve their relationships. And you can

get creative. Godek suggests slipping a love note into the book your partner is reading or into their suitcase when they’re traveling. Or you could write messages on sticky notes that you

place throughout the house, he says. 3. ASK THEM OUT ON A DATE No matter how long they’ve been together, it’s important that couples keep “dating,” according to Godek. “Don’t just go out to

a movie on Saturday, like always. Call her from work on Wednesday and formally ask her out on a date,” he says. For a really special outing, consider re-creating your first date. “Revisiting

the place where you first met or went on a date can help you recapture some of that old magic, while the years you’ve spent together since then can add a new richness and depth to the

experience,” says Barbie Adler, founder and president of Selective Search, a Chicago-based luxury matchmaking firm. “These kinds of dates can be a powerful opportunity to reflect and

reminisce on the past, find joy and companionship in the present, and reaffirm your excitement for the future.” 4. HOLD THEIR HAND When it comes to physical intimacy, making love and

showing love sometimes hit differently. So if you want to show your partner how much you care, consider getting back to basics. “Hold [his or her] hand and be sure to get in some extra hugs

this winter. Human touch releases oxytocin, the love hormone, and instantly makes us feel connected,” says Susan Magsamen, coauthor with Ivy Ross of _Your Brain on Art: How the Arts

Transform Us_. Indeed, a 2020 study in the journal _Adaptive Human Behavior and Physiology_ found that physical contact from loved ones reduces feelings of loneliness, and even reduces one’s

heart rate — a sign of physiological well-being, according to researchers. 5. SEND A CARD — OR BETTER YET, LOTS OF CARDS A greeting card is a simple way to let your partner know how much

you appreciate them. But you can make even simple gestures feel special, according to Godek, who suggests making a giant greeting card out of a cardboard box, mailing a card to your partner

at work, or giving your partner a card every day for an entire week or month. And don’t just wait for birthdays or holidays. “Go out this weekend and buy $50 worth of greeting cards,” Godek

advises. “Get some sentimental cards. Get some sexy cards. Get several birthday cards. Get some friendship cards. Get cards with no inscription, so you can exercise your creativity.” And

speaking of birthday cards: “How about doing something different this year? On your lover’s birthday, send a ‘thank you’ card to his or her mother,” Godek suggests. Illustration: Sam Island

6. GIVE THANKS If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then a thank-you a day keeps the divorce lawyer away, suggests Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “I try to thank

[my wife] at least two or three times a day,” he says. “It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It’s, ‘Hey sweetheart, thank you for that meal last night.’ It’s, ‘Thank you for the roses in the

garden; I cut a couple and put them in the office.’ It’s, ‘Thank you for taking in my dry cleaning’ … It could be any number of things. The little things she does for me are her way of

showing love, and thanking her is my way of expressing gratitude.” Echoes relationship coach Laura Doyle, author of _The Empowered Wife: Six Surprising Secrets for Attracting Your Husband’s

Time, Attention, and Affection_: “One of my favorite ways to show my husband love is to make a gratitude list for the ways he makes me happy, from doing the laundry, putting up holiday

decorations, being a great provider and taking me to sushi. I like to put a list of 10 things on a homemade card with silly drawings. He seems to love it.” 7. ANTICIPATE THEIR NEEDS Romance

doesn’t always have to be passionate. Often, it can be practical. If you’re doing laundry and notice that all your partner’s socks have holes in them, buy some new ones. If you see that

their favorite cereal is running low, pick up a fresh box while you’re out running errands. Another example: Bring them a cup of tea while they’re working on the computer, or a glass of

water to make sure they stay hydrated. “This shows your partner that you’re thinking about their needs and well-being,” says Jodie Milton, a relationship and intimacy coach and cofounder of

Practical Intimacy, which provides relationship and intimacy coaching. “It’s a small act of thoughtfulness that will make them feel cared for and maybe even a little bit more energized.” 8.

TAG ALONG TO APPOINTMENTS Doctors and dentists are neither fun nor romantic. But when couples stomach important appointments together as a team, it can strengthen the relationship bond while

providing opportunities to catch up. “Going along for routine check-ups gives you opportunities for quickie coffee dates. And accompanying him or her when there are difficult problems

allows you to provide emotional support,” Godek says.