We Offered to Pay for Our Son’s Wedding But Forgot to Set a Budget. Help!

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Many parents foot the bill, or at least defray some of the costs, for their child’s wedding. But weddings are more expensive than ever. A wedding in 2023 cost on average $35,000, up from

$30,000 in 2022, according to The Knot, a wedding planning and vendor resource.

Things can get complicated when parents offer to pay for their child’s big day but don’t set a budget, as these folks learned. 

Lizzie Post is AARP's financial etiquette columnist. She is the great-great-granddaughter of etiquette legend Emily Post. She’s also the co-president of The Emily Post Institute, co-author

of Emily Post’s Etiquette: the Centennial Edition and co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast.

Have a question? Email us at [email protected]. 

My husband and I offered to pay for our son's wedding, but we made the mistake of not giving him a budget. Now he's sending us a list of vendors he wants to hire, and they're all very

expensive — a high-end caterer, a 12-person band, even a wedding cake that costs $1,500! How do we set a spending limit at this point?

Wedding cake prices aren’t what they used to be. Believe it or not, $1,500 is not uncommon — and neither is the pickle you find yourself in. Weddings do tend to up the price tag of whatever

it is we’re purchasing, be it a service or goods. Sticker shock is not uncommon, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only option, and it sounds like this has the potential to be a great lesson in

budgeting.

You are not alone in needing to rein in an eager couple. In the excitement and joy that comes with your child saying they’ve found “the one,” it can be easy to make offers without realizing

how they might unfold later. Don’t worry — you aren’t committed to an unlimited budget. However, the budget expectations need to be set, and it’s best to address this issue as soon as

possible. Delaying will only allow more time for your son and his partner to fall in love with things that are outside the budget and, frankly, for less expensive options to be booked up.