What to Post (and Not) on Social Media When You’re Grieving

Kiersten Essenpreis Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

He died.

He died.

Damon died and

Those words still

Do not feel real to me

To us

This verse is taken from a poem Lesli DeVito wrote and posted a few months ago on Instagram to commemorate the one-year anniversary of her husband’s unexpected death; he died on Valentine’s

Day in 2023.

The 65-year-old artist from Charlottesville, Virginia, did what many do when grieving a loss. She turned to social media to share thoughts and feelings that are difficult, raw, and

complicated.

“Without social media to air my grief,” says DeVito, who was married to her husband, Damon, for 28 years, “I think I would’ve been a lot more isolated.”

support on social media

Aug. 30 is National Grief Awareness Day, which may send more people to share or vent on social media. Other reasons may include losing someone special or the loss of a job, or a child

leaving home, says Laci James, a licensed married and family therapist and the clinical director at The Mental Health Center of San Diego.

And older people are more likely to go through these kinds of big changes, she adds — they are at greater risk of “losing big pieces of their lives and identity.”

But can posting ever be too personal? And should you care what other people think? Here’s what to know — no matter if you’re on the sending or receiving side.

to gain by posting

Sorting out why you are posting before you post is key, says Gina Moffa, LCSW, a licensed grief and trauma therapist in New York City. That will help you understand what you hope to gain. 

There is the very practical reason of posting to let people know of a loved one’s passing. 

DeVito initially posted about Damon’s death as an easy way to reach lots of people without having to repeatedly recount the same heartbreaking details.